1980's Timewarp: Where Were You?
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by: MatthewGrant
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Word Count: 599
Elizabeth Taylor dropped in for Luke and Laura's wedding. Lady Diana Spencer joined the Royal Family. Nighttime soaps like Dallas and Knots Landing ruled the airwaves. Margaret Thatcher ruled the United Kingdom. Tom Cruise felt the need for speed. Gordon Gekko taught Wall Street whiz kids that greed was good. Material Girl Madonna made her musical debut.
What decade was it?
We can only be talking about that terrific time period – the excellent eighties.
Here are twenty-one ways for you to verify that you belong to (or belong in) the 1980's.
1. Breakdancing on the sidewalk looked like fun. Now it just looks like you might break something.
2. You know that Molly Ringwald was an original cast member on Facts of Life. (Now you're singing both of the show's theme songs.)
3. You remember paying by the minute for long distance telephone service and you can still hear the tune from the phone company commercial when they encouraged you to "reach out – reach out and touch someone."
4. You had at least one of the following: a Cabbage Patch Kid, My Little Buddy, a Missing Link puzzle, or something with a Pac-Man logo on it.
5. You remember a lot of headlines about the Human Genome Project, which was a complete mapping of human DNA. You also remember how this was supposed to lead to the eradication of disease.
6. You were tuned in the exact moment that thousands of radio stations across the world played "We Are The World" at the exact same time. (Now, you're singing it!)
7. Your first album was a vinyl 33 and you laughed at your parents because they wanted to play 45's and 8-track tapes.
8. You know who Oliver North is and why he was in the news.
9. Someone on your street or neighborhood sent his or her life savings to a later discredited televangelist.
10. You laughed at the Golden Girls on television and now you wonder when you and you're friends became the Golden Girls.
11. You know that "glasnost" means openness or transparency and "perestroika" means economic restructuring.
12. You and your friends made fun of the "I've fallen and I can't get up" lady. (The fictional woman was named Mrs. Fletcher and the product was the LifeCall emergency service.)|You and your friends made fun of the "Where's the beef?" commercials for Wendy's starring Clara Peller.}}}
13. You inserted "like" liberally and unnecessarily throughout your sentences. Like so, "Like, that was, like, the hardest test we ever had. So after class, I was all like asking the teacher and she was like it wouldn't have been hard if you had studied. Then I was like is that like wicked rude or what?"
14. You know there was only one way Dorothy on the Golden Girls could make Sophia behave. She simply said, "Shady Pines, Ma, Shady Pines."
15. You've actually tasted New Coke. Extra points if you wrote to Coca-Cola and insisted they bring back the original formula.
16. You remember when television consisted of three networks ABC, CBS, and NBC.
17. You know what a snap bracelet is and how one works.
18. You were inspired by
Geraldine Ferraro, the first (and as of this writing only in a major political party) female Vice Presidential candidate.
19. Going to the video store to get movies about Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Michael Myers took up a lot of your time.
20. If someone says, "I don’t know," you automatically cringe expecting the green slime to mysteriously fall from the ceiling.
21. You played Atari, Intellivision, Sega, Nintendo, and Coleco until your hands went numb.
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About the Author
Are you still a Duran Duran fan? Do you still know all the words to Time After Time? Then you better get right over to the 80's music fashion, and television list at (http://www.comprehensiveadvice.com/80s.html) to quench your thirst for more 80's info at Matthew W. Grant's 80's Trivia pages.
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